Why should we blaze a trail when the well-worn path seems safe and so inviting? - Jonathan Larson, tick, tick...BOOM!

A very distinct paraphrase of Robert Frost's poem, "The Road Not Taken" I used this song ("Louder Than Words") to try to explain Frost to my third year class in the First Quarter. They didn't appreciate it then. I can see why. They more or less hated me then and I didn't particularly like them as well. I had to think why did I have to bother? Why did I even try to be different? I would have gotten the same reaction anyway.

Ah well. I suppose this is how one starts his first blog in months, especially after a few weeks of what can only be described as hell rent anew.

I can't help but be very disappointed. I know I'm not the best teacher out there. Far from it even. So many times, when I look at myself in the mirror in the morning, I ask myself, Are you even doing anything? Are the boys learning something from you? What if they're disappointed? What if you piss someone off?

I don't have all the answers. Not for my students, not even for myself. The best I can do is to try hard and give it my best.

Looking back, I wouldn't be surprised if my students think I'm psycho. One minute I'm fine, another minute I'm blowing my top and bellowing down a startled student's face, spraying him with a fine salivary mist.

"He must be bi-polar..." I can almost hear some of them whisper.

Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. What many students don't understand is that underneath all the jokes, the ka-kengkoyan and the kagaguhan is someone who is dead serious about his job.

That's the paradoxical balance I have been trying to accomplish all year: serious, yet fun. That's why one minute I'm telling a borderline, almost off-color anecdote (not to mention, humming, snapping and sometimes nearly everything short of a song and dance number) in class and the next moment (after a student or two steps out of line) I'm handing out green slips almost as if I get frequent-flyer miles for giving them out.

I didn't enter Xavier School to make friends with the students. I wanted to teach and to make it fun and accessible and yet challenging. Knowing who I am and how frank (and relentless) I can be, I expected people to be pissed at me. I can't let people move on if they don't meet the requirements I demand.

But somewhere down the road, things fell apart. Maybe I was more nice than strict. So much so that I ended up adjusting to and spoon-feeding my students when I said I wouldn't. At this point, prospects of other jobs on the higher end of the pay slip seem so tempting. I want to travel and to go on my great adventure which will be far, far away from students who beg for an extra point to receive honors and from brats who think they're above everyone else.

I just hope that my great adventure won't be walking from the faculty workroom to the NY Fries at the grade school cafeteria.

And today, the last day of the year I just felt like I regret the road I took. Why did I even bother?

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

I may seem to have a flair for dramatics. Believe me I do not do these things on purpose.

If you take away a lesson or two, these are the two things I hope you pack with you as we part ways and run off into summer vacation.

First. Always take things into context. Read things in their proper context, write things in the proper context and do things in the proper context. There's a right place and a right time for everything. As I always say, what you can get away with in my class will not necessarily be acceptable in another class. I try to keep things real. I don't tell you never to curse, I tell you to do not do it in class. Give everyone the proper respect in the right context.

Second. Always do your best, but have fun while doing it. You have to take things seriously, but it can be fun as well. 3I and 1E did this in our respective competitions. Win or lose, I am proud of you guys. Winning and honors don't matter if you cheated or you were miserable as you went about it. It's not about the grade, but what you learn.

More often than not, the journey is more important than the destination itself.

If I had one more day to share with my students, this is what I want to tell them.

The following is the Apple philosophy.

Individuality does not always mean a rebellion and a rebellion is not simply disobedience. It requires something deeper, something stronger. It does not deal with petty adolescent arrogance but with one's life direction. Much more than the rebel's drive is the cost of one's rebellion. How much are willing to give up for something that you want? How about for something you <em>believe</em> in?

 

 Here’s to the crazy ones.

 

  The misfits.

    The rebels.

      The troublemakers.

        The round pegs in the square holes.

The ones who see things differently.

They’re not fond of rules.

     And they have no respect for the status quo.

You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,

     disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.

      Because they change things.

They invent.    They imagine.    They heal.

  They explore.    They create.    They inspire.

    They push the human race forward.

Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.

 

While some see them as the crazy ones,
   we see genius.

Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Since it was exam week, we all wore post-test attire, which actually means we can wear casual clothes (save for sleeveless, shorts, sandals, slippers) to school. Unfortunately I wore my brown jeans that have the tendency to be -ahem- revealing.

Quite a few brought it to my attention, co-teachers and students, but I didn't really care. Hey, it's the fault of my pants okay? The zipper just seems to undo itself all the time. My students I'm sure had a blast. One even gave me a caricature of me with my trusty bag, sideburns (which I shaved off today by the way) and my open fly.

It's just funny how many students end up gazing at my zipper.

I knew these boys had issues, but man, I never knew!

Haha! Just kidding of course!

If you can't make fun of yourself, no one can.

Cages or wings? Which do you prefer?
Ask the birds.
Fear or love baby don't say the answer,
Actions speak louder than words

By the way, some people made me cry. Not in public of course. You bastards. I'm such a sucker.

Freedom is mine!

Granted in the final moments I had my eyes closed, it was no less intense. I spat out a lot of blood and yet I kept my mouth shut and after all the grinding, gnashing and gyrating (just needed another g-word) I was a new man.

I have officially shaken off the shackles of 7 years of slavery.

I'm not wearing braces anymore!

What began allegedly as a two-year ordeal back in high school, spanned through college and ended seven years later.

Now about those retainers....

For about about 8 months or so the classroom was my domain.

Now it's my bedroom. All four walls, old CRT Sony TV, Gamecube, PS2, Penelope and books I intend to read but never get around to doing so are the elements of my realm (Ha, I know it's not parallel, it's a blog! So sue me!).

I guess I should definitely treasure this vacation. My friends are envious of the fact that I get paid vacation along with my work but now I have nothing to do or no one to share the beauty of nothingness with.

Quality time is the time you're willing to waste with the people who are important to you.

My New Kingdom of Boredom.

Bow.