I wish I could say that I had a close encounter with the Pope, but I haven't. My dad has received communion from him, as my aunts and uncles.

In all my ponderings about religion and hesitance at being a Catholic, the single biggest factor that keeps me part of the flock is Pope John Paul II.

There is really just something about the Pope that makes me tremble. I don't agree with everything he has said or what the Church has stood for, but I feel nothing but the strongest love for this man. So much so that I know that if I ever got to meet him, I would fall on my knees crying.

However, I just lie here in my room watching CNN, witnessing again the Filipino people chanting "JP II We Love You!"

Amen.

It has expected of course, it was inevitable. We would have been foolish to ignore that the Pope was dying. However as someone on CNN said, it was as if many of us believed that he was somehow invulnerable.

So when the time came that he had actually gone, it was difficult to accept. I had kept my television on last night as updates on his condition trickled into CNN. I fell asleep but got roused from my shallow slumber as the announcement was read. I wasn't quite sure if it was live or came a bit after but it was definitely around 3-am-ish.

What puzzles me is how a man I do not necessarily agree with can affect me so. Like so many friends and colleagues (the "younger" ones) of mine, Karol Józef Wojty?a was the only Pope we knew. And I'm confident when I say that I think that he is THE Pope, I'm saying it objectively and not because he is the only one I know. I cannot feel anymore fortunate to be a Catholic than now.

The clearest message that the Pope has communicated to me is that the Catholic Church makes mistakes. His humility is something that all must emulate.

I found it necessary to light a candle for him in cyberspace. You can find my candle here within the next 48 hours.

--------

If there's one thing that irks me, it's that why is Bush's statement about Pope John Paul II the one that is constantly flashed on CNN? Stupid question I know, but I just had to say it, given that other speeches were delivered in JP II's honor all over the world.

Karol Wojtyla. Ioannes Paulus PP. II. Ioannem Paulum II. Charles Woityla. Giovanni Paolo II. Juan Pablo II.
Juan Paolo II. John Paul II.

These are just a few names that were associated with the late Pope John Paul II. I understand that this is my 3rd straight entry about the Pope, but this time I'm letting others speak for me.

I had been Googling on the JP II and the conclave and the results paint a very human portrait of him.

An excerpt from White Smoke Over the Sistine: The Night in 1978 That Stunned the World
by Delia Gallagher

At 6:45 p.m. in the dark of a Rome October evening, Cardinal Pericle Felici comes to the balcony of the basilica. Two seconds earlier he had nudged Cardinal Wyszynski. "How do you pronounce this name?"

"Annuntio vobis," Cardinal Felici began, "gaudium magnum. Habemus Papam, Carolum ..."

"Carolum?" thought journalist Paglialunga as he looked toward Svidercoschi. "They've elected Cardinal Carlo Confalonieri?" He was thinking of the over-80 cardinal who was himself watching from his balcony above the press office.

"... Wojtyla," continued Cardinal Felici pronouncing the Polish name WOY-TEE-WA, as he had been instructed a few minutes earlier.

"Qui sibi nomen imposuit Ioannem Paulum II."

The crowd was momentarily silent as they turned to one another with perplexed looks, "WOY-TEE-WA?"

"They've elected an African!" exclaimed an Italian woman in disbelief.

"No!" corrected the Italian journalists standing next to her. "He is Polish!" they exclaimed in equal disbelief.

The journalists ran off to find biographies and the correct spelling of this unknown Pope while the crowd waited, alive with chatter. "Polish?" "Polish!"

A half-hour passed and suddenly the now-swelled crowd saw Karol Wojtyla, Pope John Paul II, appear at the balcony.

No Pope had ever spoken more that the traditional blessing from the loggia. John Paul I, only a month earlier had wanted to, but Monsignor Noè had told him it was not done.

How John Paul II became Pope

At 19:21, almost two hours to the minute after the result of the final ballot was announced, the first Slavic pope ever–and the first non-Italian in more than four and a half centuries–enters the balcony: the world sees the new pope, a man most had not even known existed. His inaugural words will be significant, a moment in which the straniero might win or lose the hearts of the Romans.


"All honour to Jesus Christ." The crowd responds. The prayerful formalities out of the way: "Dear brothers and sisters"–echoes of John Paul I, and in flawless Italian, too. "We are still grieved after the death of our most beloved John Paul I. And now the most eminent cardinals have called a new bishop of Rome from a far-off land; far yet so near through the communion of faith and in the Christian tradition…" A foreign pope, but already at home in Rome.


Then an endearingly self-deprecating touch: "I don’t know if I express myself in your…our…Italian language well enough. If I make a mistake, you will correct me." The Polish pope has won the hearts of the Romans, and the world, in a matter of minutes.


---------------
I highly encourage everyone to read these two articles. They are both very insightful and surprisingly funny at times.

If you've dropped by the Vatican Website, you should have seen the Pope's Death Certificate. It is only in Italian and I struggled trying to read it so I went over to Altavista's Babelfish to have an automated translation. However, the results were for the lack of a better term, crude. (Fortunately I'm in the presence of three young-ish priests here in a coffee shop in Naga and provided us with a more accurate translation.)

DENUNCIATION OF DEAD WOMEN
OF ITS HOLINESS GIOVANNI PAUL II

I certify that Its Holiness Giovanni Paul II (Karol Wojtyla) NATO to Wadowice (Krakòv, Polonia) 18 May 1920, resident in the Vatican City, Citizen Vatican, is passed away to hours 21,37 of day 2 You open them 2005 in Its Apartment in the Apostolic Palace Vatican (Vatican City) for


Septic shock

Irreversible cardiocircolatorio collapse



In subject affection they give:

Morbo di Parkinson

Pregressi episodes of acute respiratory insufficiency and consequent tracheotomia

Complicated benign prostatica hypertrophy from urosepsi

Hypertensive and ischemica cardiopathy



The assessment of the dead women has been carried out by means of elettrocardiotanatografica recording of the duration of beyond 20 minuteren first.


I declare that the causes of the dead women, second my science and conscience, are those on indicated.


Vatican City, the 2 You open them 2005


The Director of the Direction of Health and Hygiene
of the Vatican City State


Dr. RENATO BUZZONETTI

I went to my first class in grad school to day. It was an elective for my MA in Basic Ed, Effective Planning & Curriculum Development (or something like that). Being the overconfident jerk that I am (or at least being the tardy idiot I am on hot sweaty summer days) I was four minutes late for class. I stumbled into the (thankfully) airconditioned classroom I couldn't shake the feeling that I was woefully underclassed.

I sauntered in casually dressed in a faded pair of Sketchers, dark wrinkled slacks, a red Star Wars tshirt and a black Tiger Woods baseball cap straight into a room full of subject coordinators, administrators, nuns and principals. Half-stumbling into an empty seat next to my friend Jake, I assessed the situation and wondered how the hell I got into this "mess". Ah, I remembered. This class came highly recommended by Dr. Antonio. Good thing I wasn't the only one duped as there were about seven of us from the Ateneo-Xavier MA Educ program, but everyone who isn't from our groups is literally an administrator of some sort.

It was then I saw him. It was none other than my grade school computer teacher. While we never really knew each other (I did know his wife a bit though, she was my Art teacher for at least three years) we recognized each other.

I don't blame him for not remembering me. He was after all the teacher of every student in my batch. Heck, I even find myself struggling to remember the full names of some of my students.

While I reckon that he might be "used" to the idea of seeing a student again, you can't really deny the absurdity of the situation. It was difficult enough for me to see him transform from "teacher" to "classmate", what weirdness it must have been for him who must have last seen me ten years ago. I didn't just jump from "barely a teenager" to an adult, but also as a "student" to "classmate" all at the same time!

Granted there have been weirder things, last year my friend who's Philosophy teaching assistant to some big shot had our former assistant principal in his class. Now that's a total switch, from teacher to student and teacher to student, all at the sour age of twenty-two. My dad's former Algebra teacher (who failed him by the way) became his student at law school.

So it's not that weird at all. It doesn't make it any easier though.


Whew. I must get used to this whole "all grown-up" thing.

When I was a kid, this was a question that often plagued my mind. Funny enough, it was almost as if teachers aren't regular people that they seemed to have to do things...differently....

But at last that question is answered in my new photo gallery, Baliw sa Liliw!

New Pope! New Pope!

I was already asleep when I was jolted by loud urgent knocks on my door. I opened it to see my younger brother jumping shouting "New Pope! New Pope!" We then ran to our mom's room to see white smoke come out with the toll of the bells over at the Vatican on CNN.

This is the first time I'm seeing this, as is true for millions of young people, and I feel tense.


The Church is still relevant.

20/04 at 12:17 AM

------

EDIT

20/04 12:25 AM

It's just surreal even if I'm just watching on TV.

BBC commentator just said it was amazing as if it was an Andrew Lloyd Webber spectacle. A few weeks ago St. Peter's Square was fillled with people mourning, but now they're jubilant. It's not a forgetful mood, you could definitely sense the presence of the memory Pope John Paul II over everything. CNN has called it looking like a sporting event.

An event where so many are intent on having their own cardinal be the pope, but hopefully everyone wins.

I just hope they didn't rush things, seeing they chose a pope in less than 24 hours.

I hope it's not Ratzinger....

Pope Benedict XVI

Rats, it's Ratzinger! Something about him doesn't rub me right. Death of Liberalism in the Church.

That just ruined my optimism.

Ten seconds ago, Pope Benedict XVI emerged on the balcony.

Maybe I'm wrong, but we just mirrored JPII's speech. It just seemed too political to me....

I think my faith just weakened.

Man, it sucks to be a liberal Catholic.

I feel sick. I'll go get the antacids. Hopefully I can sleep this off.

My friend just texted me that he had be praying that it wouldn't be him.

I did too.

Doesn't he kind of look like an older, taller Joe Pesci? His gaze seems icy nor does he seem as charismatic as JP II.

He looked to eager to be Pope. The way he quickly walked out onto the balcony just didn't make me a believer.

I pray he'll prove my impressions of him wrong.

I take two things I said back.

The Church suddenly doesn't look relevant, but this is just an ill-feeling, based on biases.

This doesn't weaken my faith, but rather weakens my Catholicism.

I whole-heartedly agree with the commentaries on BBC. The experience is amazing, but the choice is disappointing to put it mildly. I can't shake the feeling that death of JPII was partly a Ratzinger-fest.

He was too much of an obvious choice. I had really hoped for a non-European pope, even a conservative one.

I am very disappointed.

At least he's 78.

I just came back from an impromptu trip with Glenn and his older brother Gerard. We went to their salt beds/factory/refinery in Pangasinan. Lo and behold, I overpacked again.

I am now officially stating this. I pack too many things.



Sorry for the waste of space, it's a therapy thing.

I don't really know how or why but it's my turn to be depressed.

More than anything else I've been overcome by loneliness. It's true that being at work is better than being bored at home, but I can't shake the feeling of being a fish out of water. People are nice enough, but somehow that doesn't cut it anymore.

Maybe I'm depressed about not having the opportunity to teach my classes anymore, but it's not that. I don't really miss them that much. The lesson I learned is to never become too attached to your students. Which is weird considering that I already knew that rule when I started, but you only truly learn something once you go through it and it becomes part of you.

As a way of coping with it, I opted to teach all Hi1 students, clean slate. But it doesn't stop from getting to me.

It's not just that. I really do feel personally isolated.

When you play habulan or "tag" as it's universally called, when you become the taya the whole game becomes your responsibility. People run away from you as if you're diseased and you can't do anything but run after them. Things will only worsen if you choose not to run. You are obligated to pass on the necessary evil that is inherit in your position as the taya.